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| Don't let the innocent face fool you! |
For Sale
Toddler
Just shy of 2
Willing to take Cash
INHERENT RISK OF TODDLERS CLAUSE:
please be warned that if you purchase this Toddler you may be subjected to:
*Vaseline rubbed into nooks and crannies
* 1/4 gallon of milk dumped on a plate
*Full gallon of milk crushed to oblivion and leaking all over your floor
*
The entire contents of a box of bottle liners distributed throughout the kitchen*The baggie/foil drawer strewn all over the floor
*A goldfish trail down the hallway
*Every drawer and door in the house open
*Sharpie drawings on walls, desks, mirrors, windows
*Numerous trash cans divested of their contents
*Shrieking-- from not being able to talk
*A Semester-long art project given the "Toddler Touch"
*Numerous falls from climbing every piece of furniture, kitchen counter, cupboard, fridge
*Adamant refusal to EAT
A.L.L. W.I.T.H.I.N. A. 2.4. H.O.U.R. P.E.R.I.O.D.
DON'T BOTHER BABY PROOFING:
You will never be able to anticipate the trouble he's capable of getting into.
Don't turn your back for a minute
Lock every deadbolt, but don't get your hopes up. He's moments away from figuring
TIPS FOR CONTROLLING SAID TODDLER
Take him outside
Drive in a car
Play Loud dance music
Put him to bed-- Works every time
Note: the preceding is not an actual advertisement
