PrEGnAnCy RaNt!!!!

I am writing this entry, not so much for you, my loyal readers, but for posterity, for myself in case I get any more revelations about having children, and for my memory which always seems to fade in the light of super sweet babies. PREGNANCY STINKS. (I'm sorry, this may get vitriolic. Make sure you cover your eyes if I get too offensive) The top 20 reasons this sweet baby boy is baby Number Never Again:
1. my backside seems to get as pregnant as my frontside.
2. I'm too tired and nauseated to get off the couch but not sick enough to feel justified in staying on said couch.
3. I can't breathe.
4. Did I mention I can't breathe.-- Despite using an inhaler for the first time this pregnancy, my lungs cannot handle the stress of pregnancy-- even in the first trimester.
5. Not being able to breathe seriously limits my workout possibilities contributing to the Catastrophe listed in No. 1.
6. I have really cute, skinny friends who carry their babies like little basketballs in front, not showing until the 8th month.
7. Motherhood Maternity clothing makes clothing for the aforementioned friends not for moi whose babies ride MUCH LOWER.
8. Said maternity clothing store is not into vanity sizing. Their clothes are really small. Even the larges are not large.
9. They are the only place to get maternity clothes in this town.
10. I have to go to the bathroom after 2 oz. of water. And so, am chronically dehydrated for fear I won't be near one in time.
11. I'm hungry all the time. But the minute I eat, I feel sick. You would think, using Pavlov's reasoning, that I would eventually stop eating. Au Contraire mon frere. Apparently Pavlov's principles do not apply to the ravenous monster inside of me.
12. I'm exhausted, but can't sleep.
13. I have no energy for creativity. My sewing machine is dormant. Angela inspires me.
14. Everybody seems to happen upon a miracle weight loss cure at the same moment my waistline is expanding beyond belief.
15. When I lay on my left side (the preferred side, wouldn't you know) I get overwhelmingly nauseated.
16. My hair gets way curly which would be great if I weren't trying to straighten it every day.
17. I ran a mile yesterday (only one mile--AAAARGH) and as soon as I stepped off the treadmill felt like I was going into labor. For a good 10 minutes.
18. I'm the one to whom people say, "haven't you had that baby yet?"
19. Okay, maybe I can only come up with 19. Honestly, we're super excited to have this baby. We feel like he was waiting to come to our family and is getting to know his grandpa before he comes. But I think my body's had enough of childbearing and is ready to run again.